Rain and Patience
Yes indeed. I was rained on today. 18 miles and maybe 5 minutes of it was not in rain. I felt saturated and heavy, but it felt cool and refreshing at the same time. I ran around 8 miles (I’m pretty loosey goosey with my mileage) yesterday afternoon, so it went about as well as I could have hoped. But I wasn’t very happy with it. I felt tired, discouraged, and slow. I passed the time, as I tend to do, by singing in my head. Today “The Rain” by The Swell Season seemed to be appropriate:
I love the chorus: “I know we’re not where I promised you we’d be by now, but maybe it’s a question of who’d want it anyhow.”
Then, it came to me. So often, we compare ourselves to outside events, people, and goals. We want to beat our previous PR. We want to run as fast as a friend or celebrity of some kind. We feel the need to run a certain pace, distance, or with a certain form in order to feel like we’ve accomplished anything. That happened to me today. I kept wanting to be able to run faster. I didn’t want my waterlogged shoes or already tired calves to be an excuse. I kept looking at my watch and thinking, “Geez. I need to pick it up!”
Without going into all the boring details of a long run, the bottom line was this: I wasn’t patient. I wasn’t patient with myself, my course, the rain, my pace, or anything. But here’s the thing: We owe it to ourselves to be patient. We owe it to our bodies. We owe it to the course. We owe it to our own mental wellness. Without patience, we become busy, but never achieve anything. We become hurried, but never get anywhere. I realized what I was doing with about 6 miles to go and I used all my will power to not do that to myself anymore. I was going to be patient with myself and this rain on this run. I wasn’t going to make myself fit into a box that doesn’t exist anywhere but my own mind. Because, in the end, I ran 18 miles this morning and this morning, that needed to be enough. Be in the moment. Be patient.
Are there times when you forget to be patient with yourself?