I’m pretty convinced that until you’ve done enough marathons that you need more than two hands to count them all, the week before the big race makes you feel like you’re a bad runner. Anybody else? No? Just me? Well…alright then. I’ll just share what I wanted to share anyway.
It seems like in the final taper week, I feel like the most awkward, ungraceful, clumsy runner on the planet. It feels like I need to watch this video (hilarious, despite some censored words) and start all over again.
All joking aside, yesterday, on my run, I spent the first half hour feeling like I hadn’t run in weeks. It freaked me out, to be honest. It feels, at the time, like I’ve just spent 3 months training for this thing in a few days and it hasn’t gotten me anywhere. It feels like my feet are heavy, my mind is clouded, and my body just got done dreaming about training, not actually training. I forgot that the first half hour of pretty much any of my runs is spent just trying to get situated. After that half hour, my body woke up and suddenly I felt like I knew what I was doing.
I guess what I need to learn is that sometimes my feelings can mislead me. Instead, I need to depend on what I know to be true. Here’s what I know: I’ve run a marathon before. I’ve put on a couple hundred miles getting ready for this one. I’ve done 600 meter hill repeats. I’ve run bike trails. I’ve run on the road. I’ve spent most of my available mental energy preparing myself for possible weather conditions, including humidity, heat, chills, wind, and rain. I’ve run in humidity, heat, chills, wind, and rain. And I just need to remember that. If I go on feelings alone, I’d never be ready. If I trust what I’ve seen to be true, I can maybe push a little further, a little faster, and a little gentler into something unknown.
And, if that doesn’t work, I guess I don’t know what will.